You Have Awakened in a Strange Place. . .
Try not to worry too much. It’s really not too bad here—once you know where you’re going.
My name is Shawn, and I’ll be your tour guide. I’m also the residential caretaker, inventor, and law around these parts. Mind your step.
Can I get you a beverage? No? Well, aren’t you all business. Let’s get to it, then.
You’ll notice below and to the right is a column I’ve titled “Stories to Read.” Here, you’ll find a variety of pieces I’ve written and hope you’ll enjoy. (The rooms of this place are filled with stories—living and dead, so don’t be surprised by what you see and hear.)
Continue Reading»
Stories to Read
Minty Fresh Death»
The house smelled of peppermint candy, which caused a shudder to wash over Lorraine as she paused at the entrance to her home.
Long ago, in a life now foreign to her, the smell had brought a smile to. . .
The Devil’s Towers»
Long ago, it was known as The Mission in the Forest, and people were welcomed with open arms. This was before God’s War when the world was a different place, and the truth about God and Satan was still. . .
I Am a Hero»
Albert Beiman had dreamed of being a super hero all of his life. Like many young boys, he collected comic books containing tales of superpower-wielding men performing amazing acts of courage. He hid the comic. . .
Family Business»
The old man looked lovingly at the young boy and smiled.
“Okay. But remember, you can’t tell Grandma you know the true story of Lescott Brown.”
The boy nodded his head, crossed. . .
Excerpt — Unearthed»
PROLOGUE
During her last moments, she did not watch as the memories of her life slid past her mind’s eye, nor did she take the time to say goodbye to those she loved.
Redefined
Soundproof»
The hearing acumen of juveniles.
Post Mortal»
The after-life.
Defeat»
What’s inside Nancy Sinatra’s boots.
Telephony»
The sales person who calls during dinner, or. . .
Tempting Spam
Ignore This at Your Peril»
Of course, I opened up this one: why tempt fate?
The Age of Miracles Is Not Past»
Not only did I view this as exciting news, but also, I presumed the contents. . .
We Can Change Our Life and Get Rid of Things Which Disturb Us»
I am relatively certain this is a direct communique from the Borg, and that thrills me to no end.
Penis Theft Panic Hits City»
Some of my best friends have penises, so while I am not personally threatened by this crime spree. . .
Lists of Five
Inexpensive Cat Toys»
1. Toilet paper
2. The laundry pile
Things I Miss from Childhood»
1. Lite Bright
2. KerPlunk!
Reasons I Miss Welcome Back, Kotter»
1. Freddie “Boom-Boom” Washington reading Harry Pot-tair
Words I Have Never Used in a Sentence»
1. perambulator
2. sarcophagus. . .
