FOR IMMEDIATE PRESS RELEASE:

Promotional material for Vanessa the Voluptuous Vixen is now available through JustForYou Publications! In addition to excerpts, cover images, and author commentary, JustForYou Pub is thrilled to announce the availability of a limited number of full-color bookmarks celebrating Vanessa’s most popular personas!

Request your full-series Triple-V bookmarks NOW—before they run out! Each full-color, full-series set includes FOUR of Vanessa’s best: Triple-V as the Tasty Temptress; Triple-V as the Sexy Seductress; Triple-V as the Animal Activist; and Triple-V as the Willing Woman!

DANGER: JustForYou Pub cautions—these bookmarks may be too hot to handle! (Don’t say we didn’t warn you!)

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Vanessa the Voluptuous Vixen (as the Tasty Temptress) awakens as if she’d not existed a moment before. She’s on her back, looking up at. . .

Is that machinery? My-oh-my what kind of sex-toy is it I wonder?

Before she can answer herself, she’s buried under first one then another and another until. . .

Too heavy. . .can’t breathe. . .

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A thick hand wraps around Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress). Her stomach lurches as she catches up with the movement’s abruptness, and after a moment of blinding light and crisp, clean air, she’s stuffed someplace new.

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Hello? Is there a brave and handsome man out there who can help little ol’ me? Hello? Come on boys, something this hot won’t last forever. Hello? Boys?

Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress) can sense others around her, and she smells the faint aroma of the forest. There’s big game, but she can’t comprehend it. In her own settings, she’s never met such things.

Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress) hears screams, but they’re muffled. She’s resting several pages ahead of whatever is going on for Reader, and though it’s getting brighter and less confining, all she can do is listen.

“Oh God, no—you’re Rupert Jones—you’re the man who killed Adrianna!”

“I am indeed, and it’s too bad you had to follow me because now I have to kill you, too.”

Oh, come on honey. Don’t you know it’s better to charm a man than accuse him? He’s staring right at you. Rip off your blouse. Splay yourself on the nearest bed. Tell him how much you want him. Do something!

Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress) notices the absence of voices. She listens closely for the kinds of sounds she’s used to hearing when conversations die off, but she’s met with silence. And then, she’s looking into the eyes of a man.

Well, aren’t you a tall drink of water? Come on over, honey. I don’t bite—hard.

Nothing about him changes, but Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress) smells the coppery aroma of blood in the air, and she sees a large, bloody knife in one of the man’s hands. (Her character knows these things from shelf placement. Vanessa the Voluptuous Vixen once spent two weeks butted up against Helter Skelter before being returned to her proper location.)

How about you put that knife down, and tame me with your own dangerous weapon, Big Boy?

A body slowly materializes behind the man wielding the knife, and a pool of blood spreads out around it as the scene and chapter come to a close, and everything fades to black.

###

At chapter breaks, time inside stands still, so the characters and the placeholder wait. Sometimes, the wait is eternal as books are put aside, packed away, or tossed into the trash. As hard as this is on the placeholder, page-turners are worse. (The constant shuffling forward and back, the things seen out-of-sequence, the perennial displacement.) Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress) is wedged in a page-turner, but Reader has dropped off to sleep. . .

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Once again, a hand wraps itself around Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress) and releases her from one confine only to shove her into another place in the book. The placeholder rests mid-chapter, and part of the current scene loops around her. The characters on either side begin pushing, pulling, and fighting over her spot. Each believes one ought to be trapped in Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress)’s spot—where the light will shine first when Reader again rests.

They fail to understand her position often isn’t the best place to wait—especially in a page-turner where the action is fast and furious. She’d been lodged in a warm, cozy cabin for the time being, but the last time they’d been trapped, she’d been deposited inside Rupert Jones’ killing room, and the time before that, she’d been dumped at the lake and forced to watch some woman’s head being repeatedly forced underwater by a teenaged Rupert Jones.

The characters failed to consider what hopping from place-to-place entailed. It’s
disorienting, and knowing what’s going to happen before it does makes any interaction with
them impossible. (And they are forever trying to pry information from her.)

There was a time one of her personas, Vanessa (as the Willing Woman), had been more than happy to cooperate. She’d filled a leading man in on where he’d be with his leading lady a few chapters hence; however, she hadn’t been privy to the lady’s cheating ways, and the leading man blamed Vanessa (as the Willing Woman) for his character’s demise. When the leading man was killed by a jealous secondary character, all the Vanessas stopped being as cooperative with those they spent time with after that.

And another thing—none of the characters had to put up with being fondled or nibbled or twisted or groped (outside the context of their roles). Sometimes, Reader’s anxiety or boredom turned vulgar.

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It was windy and prickly, and instead of grasping Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress) in a meaty fist. . .

Are those teeth? Spit? Whiskers? Ouch! That hurts. Quit pawing me!

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When Reader awakes, he finds his book on the bedroom floor. Sitting nearby is his faithful dog, and between the dog’s paws rests what’s left of Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress). Reader rises, scolds his pooch for losing his place, and takes the soggy and chewed Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress) to the bathroom trashcan.

Vanessa (as the Tasty Temptress) is wedged between an empty shampoo bottle and the remnants of a bar of soap, where her adventures and usefulness cease as she’s caught in a loop that reads, “lather, rinse, repeat.”

THE END

Shawn Hansen is busy writing more stuff.